I definitely try to show appreciation for things H does. If he just brings me a tea from Starbucks I'll hug him and thank him for thinking about me and I'll tell him he's "sooooo sweet."
Sometimes I kind of goop on the sugar, but I think a little "over appreciation" is really nice (and it's fun!).
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Running.. Okay, I will try to remember to put a dash of sugar into the appreciation thing.
I think the one thing that I need to constantly do is to manage my own expectations. Just this morning, I was upset when H mentioned that he might stay back a couple of days longer when he goes away today for his business trip. He was due back on Friday (we have a dinner with S6's teacher and other parents)
H: Oh..if I do come back this friday Me: what do you mean? H: Some other ppl are extending their trip. Me: So you say. Don't know if that's true (Voice changed to a tad accusatory) Okay then. I will go for the dinner myself then. Nevermind. H: Okay! Okay! I won't stay then. I will come back as scheduled. Me: I said no need. I will go myself (rolled over to my side of the bed) H: (Big sigh!) Don't say no need. i said I will come back.
SILENCE between us.. and then I just got up and left the room. THings then sort of went back to normalcy. Is that right or what???
Forgot to journal this... We put up our Christmas tree on Monday. And H actually piped up "before you start screaming at me,... she bought some ornaments. I've not seen them. It's still in the box". I, in my best DB behaviour did not scream, just answered very normally with "well, let's see if it suits our tree. It may clash".. (My tree has all GOLD ornaments only).. Opened up, and she had some that I could use, and I put them on the tree, the rest were not in the right colour scheme but I used them to decorate other parts of the house. Waste not, right? I was sure that H was kinda relieved that I didn't blow up ..
Today,.. H called a couple of times and then said that he will be back before lunch. He did come back, I jumped into the car... I know I shouldn't have, but I said something like "why am I coming with you?" when H told me that he had to go to the bank, and he replied "we can have lunch later". So, we did go to the bank, chit-chat in the car and had lunch... It was kinda nice, I have to say. Used to take all these things for granted... Anyway, H's left for the airport for his business trip. He will be back on Friday. ... I don't know if it's this male ego thing, there he goes that he HAS to be back by Friday morning, as he's got a meeting in the afternoon. (WTF was the thing about him extending his stay in Country Y?) I cannot understand...
Yoyo Girl, I can only share my perspective here and it's not a positive one with regards to extending trips. I honestly have a hard time with my H traveling at all since many of the guys on the road are not always a positive influence and OW lives in another state where my husband sometimes does have to travel. I've been able to handle business trips without extension and my husband contacting me daily, but I'd probably have a really difficult time with him staying longer for recreation.
Keep in mind this is my own personal sitch.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Hey Running.. I hear you. I have to say that I still have doubts about his trips, even if they are business ones. I think that he might meet up with ow etc. This trip, whilst he was away, I have to say NEGATIVE thoughts kept popping into my head. But I kept telling myself that "it's a REAL business trip. It's a REAL business trip." I know it's real, because H forwarded a work email to me with regards to this trip. But the thought of ow joining him in the trip did pop into my mind. I have to banish these thoughts.. But I did held it in quite well that I didn't confront him, and was my usual "ACT AS-IF" self..
Anyway, H did come back as scheduled, with no extension. We went to have a couple of drinks with H's coworker the day he came back, and then on to a dinner with other parents of S6's class.
