I thought I should drop by and give an update on my situation. Overall, things are pretty good. If I disregard all the past hurts and deceit, have to say H has been pretty good. We did have an argument one day...when he was going back to our home country to do some stuff. He tried to reassure me with "DOn't worry" blah blah blah.. and I was sort of still sulking, and he was put in a corner and then he sort of blew up... Told my mom about it. And she agreed with H, that he's doing the right things, and I have to give it time. Anyway,..that was about 10 days ago. Other than that, we are progressing forwards. H shares his work stuff when he comes home, and we sort of spend time talking a bit, and watching telly together. Dinner is of course together with the boys. He calls me in the middle of the day, to ask mne if things were okay etc. So, don't think I should complain or be negative. Think H is trying to make amends in the ways that he knows how or thinks is correct. Think he bought quite a lot of stuff for ow and now, he kept on asking me to buy better bags and stuff. I wanted a pair of pearl earrings and was gonna buy a "normal" pair, and he insisted that I get a pair of Mikimoto. We do joke a little bit about his "infidelity"... and he would grin and go "oh.. somehow, I KNEW you were going to tie that up with me".
Overall, I am still learning to be patient and more understanding.. more relaxed. I have to admit that sometimes when H is engrossed with his phone (texting, emailing etc)...I do wonder if he is contacting her... but I let it go.. and not query him.
Life have been busy...still trying to settle in Country X. I have still yet to unpack and organise all my stuff. Still need to buy some indoor plants. Still need to organise some language classes for the boys. Have also been rather busy with school stuff. Time just flies in Country X...and I find myself thinking less and less about the ow, or H's A with ow. I hope in TIME, the significance of their R will diminish and ours will grow in heaps and bounds. Someone sent me an email today, which is pretty good. It has this in it "You cannot make someone love you. But you can make yourself such as to be loved".
MMM... Good huh?
It's a bright bright day!!
p/s For all LBS out there who is wondering if they should have a sexual relationship with the WAS during the tine of crisis... I would say YES. I sincerely think that it was the only thin shread of bond that we had when we were in our deep deep throes of disconnection.
