quote:
There is the problem with snooping. You have information but the method of acquisition makes it difficult to work with.
I haven't and never will confront my W with the information I obtained by snooping. Our generation has been told that we are living in the "Information" age and that information is power. I use snooping as a tool to help me more accurately monitor where my W is in regards to M. That makes me feel I now have the power to make decisions and take actions that help bring me closer to my DBing goals and less likely to make poor decisions which would drive her further away.
So in perhaps a perverse way this gives me a sense of power of decision that does give some "piece of mind" which seem to help prevent me from "freaking out" when I do discover the worse. I know this is very unconventional way to DB, but does seem to work for me. Strangely enough, I feel more calm than I feel I should be after discovering the renewed contact w/ OM.

quote:
My other concern is, what if it is a test or a trap? How is that for paranoid? Hadn't thought of that one have you?
In reqards to her journal, yes I have thought about it being a test, which is why I will never confront her with anything I discover there. But I do believe she writes to help sort out her thoughts.

About the PA, she told me about it in Feb. believing she wanted a D and that by telling me about the A, I would want to grant her the D. Much of the details are in my thread.

Her last journal entry was written Monday evening. I came home Tuesday to her being in a funk. The first in about two months (from the time she said she was to recommit to M). Prior to that her "funks" were three days out of every week.

I am happy to report that yesterday when I came home from work she was out of her "funk". Went school shopping with D and saw a dining set she wanted. (We been looking for a new one for the last month.) We went back to look at it again and I see in her eyes she really wanted it, so it took nearly every penny I have to get it, but brought it home and put it together. (Some assembly required - like eleven bolts per chair x six chairs not to mention the table. [Roll Eyes] )
But we had fun doing it. Turned into a real family event. Usually it is left to me to be put together. When we went to bed, she said "I really do love you." I wanted to find some angle to work in the contact with OM but couldn't find it so I just smiled and asked "You know how much ILY?" She said, "Yes."

'til later,
KAW