Minty, Hellkat, Superstressed, Leslie - THANKS for dropping by to share your thoughts and to give your support.
are you in Australia? Is it Perth WA or somewhere else Minty - I am actually in South East Asia. H and I had a short holiday away in Perth Australia. Spent his birthday with me this year...as opposed with ow last year. So this is a good improvement from one year ago.
theres not much you can do to force him to open up, Hellkat - Yes, I know that. And I know that forcing him to talk is not gonna be good for rebuilding US. It will make him feel uncomfortable, and maybe make him retreat into his "shell" ??? I have not brought it up with him.. I've kept most of the negatives to myself and my close friends...but not to H. I guess he would open up eventually?? Or am I in the "99 Club" ..more about that in my journal.
we will never know that our Hs will not bolt again. Superstress - That is SOOOO true. We will never ever know. I had a chat with my mentor today. His question back to me was "How would one ever know that a man would really be truly committed to his wife? How would you know?" This is true. You can never ever know? One can alway LIE, right?
I don't for a second think you are being impatient. You have hung in there far after most have thrown in the towel. Thanks for encouragement.. I still have loads of patience to withstand.
I think this is the hardest part, the piecing, when we don't get the reassurance we need. I couldn't agree more... But more about this in my journal below..
Journalling.. I went to Country X to be with H from the 8th till the 11th, without the boys. H picked me up from the airport. We went home... cooked dinner, had a wonderful session , had dinner, and spent some time talking.. Next day, H went off for short meeting but did call me while he was away... Later, we went out grocery shopping together, and H made dinner that night... Monday, we had dinner out, H paid me a compliment. Next day, met me for lunch and then we spent some time together before he went back to work, and I went to the airport to catch my flight home. All in all. It was very very nice. Although I spent alot of time watching telly, H was sitting next to me (though he wasn't really watching - as he has seen the show), we talked abit about the show and all. And we joked too.. there was a part in the show that he dared joke "you know..men are men." implying the impending infidelity in the show... and then when i mentioned something and rolled my eyes, he went "what? What? Nothing to do with me!".. I then paid no attention further. In one of our convos, he actually mentioned ow's name, as if it's there is nothing, and that she is another friend. I didn't raise my eyebrow, and he continued with whatever he was telling me. I spoke to my mentor, and he said two possibilities - 1 - he is more comfortable to share things with me, or 2 - he wants to test me. Well, either way, I think I bit my tongue at the right time, and he was rather "normal"...
H was also quite his normal "pre-A" self. He actually came over to hug me while we were waiting for our car at the mall... which was kinda nice.
As for the 99 club. It was a recent email that we got..that when you have nothing, you are happy with whatever little that you have. But when you have say 99 gold coins, you are not happy until you get the 100th coin. My mentor was saying that I am joining the 99 club. One year ago, I said that I would want my H to come back and be with the family. And today, I sort of have that and with me EXPECTING for reassurance... it's akin to me waiting for the 100th gold coin. I think his point is very very valid. I should just be happy with what I have achieved today, and not wait for the elusive 100th coin. '
Anyway, I was so happy (silly, I know) that I actually cried when I received a text from H "love you too". That was nice..
Today, Friday 14th... Had teleconvo with H.. He may have to go to France in September, and he brought up that perhaps I could go with him. Would be a big step forward in our R if he really really arranged for me to go with him. But I must not EXPECT it. Don't want to be dissapointed.
, had dinner, and spent some time talking.. Next day, H went off for short meeting but did call me while he was away... Later, we went out grocery shopping together, and H made dinner that night... Monday, we had dinner out, H paid me a compliment. Next day, met me for lunch and then we spent some time together before he went back to work, and I went to the airport to catch my flight home. All in all. It was very very nice. Although I spent alot of time watching telly, H was sitting next to me (though he wasn't really watching - as he has seen the show), we talked abit about the show and all. And we joked too.. there was a part in the show that he dared joke "you know..men are men." implying the impending infidelity in the show... and then when i mentioned something and rolled my eyes, he went "what? What? Nothing to do with me!".. I then paid no attention further. In one of our convos, he actually mentioned ow's name, as if it's there is nothing, and that she is another friend. I didn't raise my eyebrow, and he continued with whatever he was telling me. I spoke to my mentor, and he said two possibilities - 1 - he is more comfortable to share things with me, or 2 - he wants to test me. Well, either way, I think I bit my tongue at the right time, and he was rather "normal"... 
