Hey...Hellkat. Great for you to drop by. How is your sitch now? I don't see your thread.. where is it now? Or do you not post often now?

slight case of cold feet
I would guessed so... my mentor said that I am like a bride-to-be... having second thoughts when the wedding day draws near. Perhaps this is true?

I feel much better today... Maybe because H called again yesterday and he did buy me a ticket to fly to Country X this weekend. H called again in the evening and again at night. Boys won't be going though... and I asked him this morning (he just called me) if I should bring the boys the next trip (21st July) but he said that he will be coming back so he'll see the boys then.

I do feel a little guilty of not bringing the boys with me this weekend...especially the last time they saw their father was the 13th of last month. But guessed I need to mend my R with their father ??? I don't know.. BUt boys seem to be coping fine.. S6 asked me yesterday (when he knew that I was going to Country X alone) "you and daddy want to spend time together??" ... and another time, when H and I went to Perth a fortnight ago (again without the boys), my dad cheekily asked S6 "Why are you not going with your parents to Perth?".
S6: They want to be together...
My Dad: Well, they can bring you and your brother and still be together
S6: You don't understand is it? I said they want to spend time together aloneee [ with a fed-up face ..as if his grand-dad is kinda dumb]

I hope I am doing the right thing... I know that I shouldn't expect things to jump back to pre-bomb.. and these things need time...

I have some questions to anyone to can answer..
- I know that we should lay off the R talks, the questioning etc.. and wait for my H to open up himself when he is ready... BUT what if he just does not open up???

I think I think too much.. just gonna RELAX and not think anymore. Take things one moment at a time...