T-Bone, Ok. Here's the other thing. He's going to look at a job tonight at 5:30 close to where the OW lives. I'm REALLY trying not to freak out here on this one. Last night when he told me I knew where it was because I was with him when the couple asked him to come and give them a price on a room addition. (He's a contractor)
SO...I said "well, maybe I'll ride with you". He looked at me and said "do you think that's a good idea, I mean its not real professional looking". I told him since I knew them I did not think they would mind, but if he felt uncomfortable with it then I wouldn't. He just kind of mumbled around, and said well, I guess you could, but I got the hint that he did not think it was such a hot idea. I met these people-they would not care at all. He is very funny about being professional though. I left the ball in his court-he will have to call me and say SOMETHING before he goes. What if he says I can go but I can tell he really isn't keen on it? I'm not sure what to do. I know he wouldn't go to "her" house-at least I think I know. He says he's had NO contact with her what so ever and wants none, and I'm still working on beleiveing that. I know he knows what I'm thinking, so he will try and reassure me as much as he can without coming out and saying -"I'm not going to her house, if that's what your thinking".
My BIL and SIL live real close-that's where we met these people. He suggested he drop me off there to visit and then come back and get me after he was done. That's an idea too. I probably will just tell him to go ahead and go and come home as quick as he can and he'll say I'll call you as soon as I get done. Well, if he's there 2 hrs. I'm gonna freak-I know it. What's a girl to do??
AND....Your right about the cigs, I'm basically ignoring it.I don't say anything, but it bugs me. Makes me wonder why he has to smoke now? Because he's so upset for having hurt "her"? He started right before he moved back home, so he didn't smoke while he was with her as far as I know. You'd think he would have started with her. Who knows the way they think and why they do the things they do? I'll let it go and pray that he stops soon. He does not smoke in front of our S and most of our friends. He says its because he knows I wouldn't like it which is true, but I also think its because he does not want to hear them ask "why the heck did you start doing that"? Good question.
I was so proud of myself the other night when he tried to pick a fight and I refused to be pulled into it!!! Talk about a 180! Its ALWAYS the other way around. We were with our D who is 23 and she adores her Dad-he can do NO wrong.(GAG) She gets on my case about everything and the other night at our nephews house she started in about what I had on-cut off jeans with a small hole at the top-she was talking to me like dirt and going on about my jeans, so I layed into her.I told her I did not appreciate her talking to me like that, and that I was tired of her getting on my case about everything-that I was a grown woman and would wear what I wanted. I asked her if she'd like me to start talking to her like that. SHE WAS MAD. She went out into the garage where her Daddy was of course, and must have made some kind of comment because when we got home and in bed he said, "so, what did you say to Lisa"? I told him and he stuck up for her, saying no one could ever tell me anything!!(fume) I calmly told him she talked to me like dirt, and I let her know I did not appreciate it and he was not there so he could not know what was said. He made some other comment,but I did not say another word but I was fuming that he would take her side when she had talked so direspectfully to me. I think he was afraid I'd alienate her by my actions-and he couldn't have that becasue she takes such good care of his feelings all the time.If I was the one that had the A she still would not be talking to me probably! With him, all she did was cried with him (double gag). On the contrary, I did not call her the following AM but I wanted to. She called and asked for ME, and asked us to do something with her that day. We did and things were fine. I think I got a point accross to her because she was a total different person to me all day. I had let her do it to me WAY too many times. Anyway he saw that I handled something different-I did not fight with him, and everything worked out JUST fine. He needs to keep his nose out of mine and her business and we'll be just dandy. We butt heads because we are so much alike, but we get over it quick and hold no grudges. I just never layed into her like I did that night and it humiliated her I think. So..she got what she gave in my eyes. I think she'll think twice before doing it again. Standing up to her was a big thing for me because I always felt she wouldn't love me if I told her how I really felt when she pulls that crap. Enough of that.
SO.....what to do about tonight? What do you think I should do? Go, or stay home and freak out if he takes a long time, because I know I will and I'll have all those horrible feelings that you want to act on soooo bad but can't! My BIG fear is I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut-it would come out as an accuisation and he would get defensive and there we go after we have done so good for WEEKS! (or should I say I have done so good?)Tell me what you think! Rachael M.

Rachael