T-Bone, First of all, thanks for being so thorough in my last post. You have no idea how it helps to get a an's perspective on these things, and I DO understand what you mean about the sex thing from a man's point of view. I would wager to say most men feel like that. I know I took my H totally for granted in that area-BIG TIME. Never, never again!! IT was the biggest mistake I made. DId I mention I'd NEVER do it again? I think that had the most to do with the A. He still takes responsibility for it and says it never should have happened no matter what, which is nice to hear, but I know now how personally a man takes that kind of rejection. It's a real blow to thier self esteem. They think thier wives don't find them attractive enough to want them. In most cases that's not true. For me, I was shut down from the antidepressant I was on. Big Time. I kept telling him that was it-and I'd try to go off of it and then start to get depressed which makes you not want sex too, so it was a big mess. The ironic thing was I had an appt. with the Dr. FINALLY to try and find something else that would not shut me down when he moved out.Gone 6 months. Of course he was already having the affair,but I was not aware at the time. She made him feel all the things he wanted from me, (his words)wanted, needed, loved,ya know what I mean? I wasn't meeting the man's needs in just about every single area. He tried telling me several times and I just didn't get it. Well, I get it now! I tell him how sexy I think he is.(he really is a Kevin Costner look alike!) I think at first they don't beleive you, because its so foreign to them. They don't trust it. I think he's finally beginning to trust the wee littlest bit that I mean what I'm saying. Second: GOOD FOR YOU! Staying home this morning to be with your wife and kiddies-ya gotta love those 180's!! They get their attention more than anything-We need to do them at least once a day. Do something they aren't expecting. It doesn't even have to be a big thing. They all are good. I, like you am TRYING not to read alot into his moods, mostly because it makes me crazy, and we're probably never right anyway about what's really going on in those heads of theirs! I ALWAYS imagine the worst. The few times I have said something like "I feel you are distant", he always says "Hmmm,really, I don't feel distant." So, then your right back where you started, because they never offer anymore information, and we KNOW not to push for it. Last, but not least-how'd you come up with the name T-bone?? Just curious. Thanks for all the input. I have another issue pending about tonight but I'll have to post it to you later-someone keeps calling on my cell. Later, Rachael M.
