T-Bone-you are a funny guy, and I could use the humor! Beleive me I do try and seduce him EVERYWHERE! Well, not everywhere, but alot of times. He acts kind of stand offish about that fro some reason. I think its because sex was one of the biggies that was missing when he went into the A. WEll, not exactly missing but he felt rejected alot of the time, and felt I used it as a tool. So...I'm thinking he is wondering is she just doing this to keep me?? He has voiced his concerns about it. I used to get really put off when he would not adhere to my advances because it was sooo out of character for him. It would make me think he was thinking of her or talking to her. Now I am just telling myself he needs time to trust me as much as I need time to trust him. When he does not jump to so to speak as soon as I approach him, I back off and let him know he does not have to "perform". I only want him when he wants me which is most of the time. The sex thing has me going a little bit but I can see where he is coming from so I don't make a big deal out of it. I find it I leave him alone and take the pressure off he will come around real soon afterwards. He's never really been able to resist me. Even when we were separtated. I'm hoping to get him back to that place totally, and to trust I'm not using it as a tool-I really want him!!! I've changed antidepressants and I am a new woman! The other ones shut me down, but not this one! Only one aspect, but it is his way of feeling close too,but since the A. he also says he has to be able to "talk to me". SO we talk-he hates silence in the car so I try and talk about anything and everything. I guess he and the OW talked about everything which is easy to do when everything is new and you have not been together forever. SO...give me some ideas here please. Does your wife like to talk? What do you talk about? ALso, AS a man, my H said he felt like an "item". I never knew what that meant-I thinks it means he felt taken for granted. He said he did not feel wanted or appreciated or HEARD. Your a man, so tell me please....what are some things I can do in these ares? I gave him a card the other day, and wrote in it how much I appreciated his support-emotionally and financially and that he had my heart forever, but thanked him mostly just for loving me. He said I was welcome, and that's it. Not overly empressed, so either he doesn't beleive me, or its not what he needs. I guess I just have to pretend I'm his mistress and I'm trying very hard to lure him away from his wife. Be his girlfriend so to speak. I've heard that works. Well try that one. I'll let you know and give me some ideas if you have any !!! Rachael M.
