Rachel,

I like what I hear from you and I have a few more ideas. It sure is hard when they are distant or cold. That is when I usually "freak out" as well wondering "why" they are being that way. It isn't usually even our fault. Try using a "consistent diversion" to pull you through these times. I have gone to weightlifting when I am being "distanced" by her. It relieves my stress and makes me feel better about myself. She likes the results as well. Try something that diverts your attention and makes you happy and then do that everytime that "feeling' starts.

We are also similar in that I feel much better when I am around my W at home. As good as it feels it isn't curing anything, only making it worse. It is like we become afraid of being away from them and we get "addicted" to them. That is why I mentioned a couple of weeks ago about you getting back to work to "occupy" your time. It is very easy to smother them when we finally see them after thinking about them all stinking day. Be careful with that one.

Here is some pretty personal territory but I will throw it out there anyway. My W and I PR has been helping us to maintain our "bond". She has made comments over the years that she doesn't want it to be only that. Maybe I am different but I truly feel a connection with my W when we are physically together. Even she doesn't fully believe me but it is true. A lot of our S like the "excitement" of their secret affairs. Try getting them home for a "nooner" or teasing them discreetly in a public place. Play to their need for "excitement" (especially MLC). I even seduced my W on our deck one afternoon (10 acre wooded lot, so no I am not an exhibitionist). Some of us aren't in a position to employ this but if a S is thinking the grass may be greener somewhere else it may be time to green up our own lawn. Here is funny thought from an old exchange with Zebra.

WLF: Hey, I hear you are thinking about leaving your husband.

WAW: Yes, I am.

WLF: Well, that is good because there is a really hot guy walking this way.

WAW: That isn't a really hot guy that is my husband.

[Wink]

TBONE