Yes, I am still struggling and I want to do all the wrong things like snoop, OR talk, ultimatums, etc. I can't get comfortable with myself. The trust is so hard to get back. I got two e-cards yesterday but who else did she send them to. I can't ask that or anything else that I want to because it would just reveal my insecurity and make me less desireable. I wish I could just rise above all of these feelings I have and I could if I felt loved. It is making me hurt big time. Yes, the R itself is positive but I don't feel like its love or much of a M.
This is one long road that I really don't like but it is what I have to work with. I would give almost anything if she could be honest with me every time and every day. I read other treads and realize she isn't the only liar out there what really bothers me is that she acts just like the long time adulterers. I will keep doing what I can and maybe someday I will feel good about her and OR again.
