Sorry I've not checked in for a while, T. Been away on a family vacation.
I understand. I see where you are, and I envy much of it, but I understand. There is still something there that you can't quite put your finger on that's driving you nuts, that's testing your trust. Secrets. I live this all the time.
I agree, it was probably not good to ask her. I find that when I really want to ask those kind of questions, I am seeking reasurance, looking for the answer I want to hear. So, I ask myself what I'll feel like if I hear the opposite, how will I behave, how will my PMA be affected? And, then I usually don't ask. It's like snooping... you have to be prepared for what you may find, even when you are only looking for reassurance.
I find that talking, telling stories about me, and about how I feel gets some response. If I tell her I'm hurting, or feeling insecure about things (and I don't mean OR), she leaps in wondering if she's making me feel that way. It show me that she cares about it, if not fully willing to do something about it. Shows me she's still "working" on some level.
Oh, anyway, just kind of rambling. I'm not posting much, I'm tired of it, but I wanted to let you know I read.
Just remember, this isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. It's not an event, but the rest of our lives. If we can all get by these rough spots with patience and understanding, we can learn how we got here and avoid it in the future. Our marriages will be stronger than ever, or our next R will benefit. This is all about the rest of our lives...
