There sure are a lot of us in the same stage of our R. That is okay because it is far better than where we were. In regards to emotional energy spent on EA's. I have addressed that quite directly on a couple of occasions and it seems to be improving greatly. The only way to be for sure is to snoop and that doesn't usually help me. What I mean is that we are spending so much time together and all of her other time is accounted for so it would be pretty hard to put much time into it. She is also complimenting me continuously on one thing or another which she wasn't doing a couple of months ago so that makes me think that she is paying attention to me.
Many of us seem concerned about the future even though the current is going quite well. In my humble opinion that is a recipe for disaster if focused on too intensely. I think we need to enjoy our spouses today with the understanding that they are not "ours". They made the choice to stay today so lets use that time to help them make the same choice for tomorrow. We have to fight through our own demons to be someone that others want to be around. Those demons were probably started by our spouse but they are still ours to deal with. The "bomb" made me try way to hard and when I got over that the R got much better. I said and did a few things that let her know that I could live with or without her and that snapped her to attention. It wasn't an act either. The pain had gotten to the point where I would not live like that any more. She either had to change or I was ready to be done. I am not taking credit because it could have gone either way but God led her to me.
I hope everyone had a great weekend with or without their SO. Ours was great. We hosted the family reunion and everything went well. Every day we have I see as the next step to success. Some others here would view that as a day closer to the end. Perception is reality so just change your perception.
