I think it is time that we co-author a book. Yes, both parties may have to act as if for a while before the feelings become real. So what. I am convinced my W is doing some acting right now (so am I) but that tells me that she is trying. Trying is a huge step in rebuilding a R. They may fail but realize they are trying. What more can they do? My W told me "you expect me to go from wanting to leave you very badly to all peachy keen over night?", "How am I supposed to believe that you won't just go back to your old ways". These were very fair statements and they made sense. We want them to love us so badly and maybe they want to but just cant right now.
Your W journal sounds similar to my W e-mails the last time I checked them. We were coming off of a very fun and passionate week and then I snooped and found out that she was still contacting these "friends". At first I was irate and was ready to go off but I cooled down and realized that we were still making great progress. This contact would probably continue to dwindle and it definitely seems to be (based on her minimal time on the computer). It takes time to change patterns so neither sitch should surprise anyone. I was a controlling, perfectionist, selfish jerk for 10 years so no wonder she was concerned that my changes were for real.
The sooner they believe that our lives don't revolve around them the sooner they want us back. Who wants a clinging, sniveling, possessive, jealous spouse? Not me or my W. Here is a funny situation. We have a king size bed and I used to almost always slide over to her side of the bed to "snuggle". Now I stay on my side and she comes to me. I usually get to bed first and would try to initiate when she came to bed and got rejected 50% of the time. Now, I just go to sleep when I get to bed only to be woken up 75% of the time by her initiating. Very interesting.
