Quote: That's how many of us ended up here. By losing our own identity.
Amy (and please don't take this the wrong way Emily) but it's hard to lose something you never had. I think that's what presents Emily with a semi-unique sitch here. She admitted to never really finding her own way, that she's been raised to not do that, and now she's allowed herself as an adult to believe that she has no personal power or identity.
For this reason, which is something YOU can control Emily, and your age, I cut you some slack, but slack is not going to grow your self-esteem nor win you your marriage back.
One more thing I want to point out is the words you choose to use like "pretty" and such. It is clear that your definition of self-worth stems from your childhood and that you are still defining yourself through your parent's eyes and with a child's sense of self. The words you use and the way you express yourself lets us know that you are still not really aware of how to begin thinking of yourself as an independent, adult woman with all the joy, freedom and yes, responsibility that comes with it. That's ok though because you WILL learn if you keep on this path and when you do, it will be a GREAT moment in your life.
I KNOW you are making progress and I give you credit for that. The fact that you're starting to admit you have some issues to deal with that are NOT related to your H is a good start. Just know that however harsh any of us get, we only want to help you and we'll resort to any tactics we see fit to do that, including blasting you when you need to be blasted. Please don't let that scare you or deter you from posting your true feelings. Deceiving us is not going to help, and we'll know you are doing it anyway, so don't try.
I may not be warm and fuzzy this morning, but I do still care a hell of a lot so please hear me/us through all the frustration and "harsh" words trying to help the best way we know how.
