Ok Emily, here's the thing, and I am not really sure if this is the right thing to say to you right now but...
Quote: It's very frustraighting to me that there's no easy fix to this problem.
Actually, there IS a quick fix. You could just decide to take a leap of faith and trust him again, casting aside all your notions that he COULD stray again.
I am not saying you SHOULD do this, but your idea that there is no quick fix is wrong, it's just that the quick fix is something that you either can't or won't do right now so you are left with trying to participate in a PROCESS that asks you to start to let go of the past while you examine the present for happiness...within YOU.
Emily, you need to stop worrying about why you can't do this and realize, in an "ah ha" moment, that it really only takes WANTING to do it more than wanting to be sad/confused/angry/scared. I know you don't think you want to be those things, but I assure you that you do. I did. We all did for a certain time after the bombs fell. We felt entitled to it. It was our RIGHT damnit and nobody, on this site, or in our "real" lives was going to deny us that.
It isn't until we understand that a lot of the REAL things causing us pain have actually not been there for a long time and that we are continuing to live them every day out of this sense of entitlement, that we realize that WE DO control this. We DO control our emotions and we do it by simply wanting to feel differently more that we want to continue to feel bad.
I swear, it really can be that simple. Sure, the REAL work starts when you have the "ah ha" moment, but it's different kind of work because it's work that actually affects you in a positive way instead of keeping you stuck in the loop.
Try to understand that you need to WANT this before you can actually have it.
