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Do you know that for sure? You sound pretty sure that this is an excuse of some sort. An excuse to do what? See OW? How about an excuse to get away from a manic W who keeps dwelling on the past that he feels SO guilty about and would do anything to erase? Is that POSSIBLE?



I think that's probably exactly what is going on!

I ment that (IF) until he calls me later I won't know whether or not he just walked out of my life.
I mean he felt A LOT of his stuff here (more than I've had since before the split) but it's nothing really important.
He says and does things to make it easier or him to get out and then once he's out the door he RUNS.
I hope he's not running now.
I am honestly trying. . . it just hurts A LOT more than I thought it would.
I don't mean to make him more guilty. . . . I just feel like crap about what happened and as much as I try to bite my tongue and hold it down . . . I guess it still comes across loud and clear.

He was still wearing his wedding band when the PA happened though . . so I guess it's NOT a huge deal that he put it back and took it with him.
He probably takes it off when he gets halfway down there and puts it back on when he comes to visit.

He got all grumpy yesterday because of this training hold up and it all started to relate to the way I make him feel. IT"S NOT MY FAULT IT DIDN"T GO EXACT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSE TO. That frustraights me. BUT I tried to stay upbeat and make our day better.
Then he said he wanted to go back down there today . .and I couldn't hold back anymore . . . so everything I had been holding back up with force. It was like emotional vomit!!!

Well after lastnight . . he and I made up and went to bed . . . snuggled and everything.
Woke up this morning . . he was a little cranky but when he saw that I wasn't being like I was lastnight he was good.
He said he had a good time this weekend and that everything with us can't just be perfect "roses and puppies" because that wouldn't be our style.
He was firm that he wanted to keep going.

I understand there isn't anything I can do if he really wants to leave. That's his decision . . I kept saying that over and over yesterday, not sure why though.
I just feel that I can steel myself . . . I don't want to feel this heartache for a third time.
How many times am I really going to let him burn me . . . before I get smart and move away from the fire?!?!?!?!?

Well I guess we'll see what he says when he calls me . . . I'll be around more later.

THANKS FOR THE SOLID ADVICE GH . . I REALLY NEEDED IT!
Keep it coming . . PLEASE!