No, I did not get mad at your assumption that OW #2 was a result of me not learning my lessons of control and going ahead and confronting OW #1. It is just simply not true.
OW #2 was on the scene before he'd finished with #1, and that was months before I learned of OW #1. It was in October that he dropped the bomb of #1, apparently #2 had come on scene sometime around the previous May, as far as I can ascertain. He broke off with #1 in June. What a perfect illustration of just how confused he is, huh?
Anyway, I did not confront OW #1 until this past April. So, you see, it really had nothing to do with OW #2.
With all that being said, I am still having to learn to let go of that kind of control. I understand that it's my H's responsiblity to live up to his promises that the EA is over and to be 110% committed to OR. It's very difficult when he hurt me so badly once, knew that he had, and continued to lie and cheat -- not caring about the pain I was going through.
So, while I agree with so much of what you and everyone else has to say, I also realize that I must be true to myself. If I'm not, I will end up full of resentment and anger. After all, it's not just about our MLC'rs. Yes, they are going through emotional hell, but so are we. And if the first rule of DB'ing is to work on ourselves and think about ourselves for once, then I think I have the right to take this stand for my family.
My H knows I am standing by him. He's asked me to help him through this. He also wants me to do whatever I feel I need to do because he knows me and knows that if I don't things will never be right.
One last thing, it wasn't until I confronted OW #1 that I was able to finally but her out of my mind (until I saw her in Yosemite, of course!!). Really, that is the way it was. She is now totally a dead issue with me.
So, maybe the fact that I've already called this OW is enough. I will try to let go of that. Please keep prayin for me.
