Don't do to us what you do to the other people in your life. We don't know you and you don't know us. This is an anonymous forum filled with damaged people trying to help each other along. Stop trying to play the victim here. We KNOW you have issues. We KNOW it's probably linked to how you were brought up. WE ALL HAVE THE SAME TYPE OF ISSUES. The only difference is that somewhere along the way we bought into the idea that no matter HOW WE WERE RAISED, or who our parents were to us, we are adults with the free will to change ourselves. If you are just going to sit here and say "well, since I can't change then it's all over with" then, well, I guess you're right but then again, why did you come here in the first place? Did you think we'd all just tell you what you wanted to hear, that your H is the biggest a-hole (which he may be, because if you don't know you, we CERTAINLY don't know him) in the world and that you've been victimized by yet another person in the your life? Did you think we'd NOT try to help you become more self-sufficient and able to stand on your own?
We are here to help you, and part of helping you is to teach you to fish, not just cook you a fish dinner. We will even tell you which pole we prefer (Divorce Remedy) and which bait to use (GAL & Detachment) but in the end, if you won't go to the water, we can't help you.
You sound like you think we're judging you or something. RB took a HELL of a lot of time to post to you and somehow you took it as an attack of some sort, or that you were being judged. Oh, and BTW, you ARE starting to stand up for yourself in your last post. Keep it up.
Emily, if you are going to believe, for whatever the reasons, that you are powerless in your life, then you always will be and you'll be at the mercy of other people's whims, and those other people will 100% of the time let you down.
I truly believe that since you are already aware of what the root of some of your issues is (your childhood/upbringing) then you CAN start to change that in your life now. You are NOT in denial about that and that's a big step.
Please, DON'T run from us. We DO care. We care enough that we won't pretend to think everything you say is perfect or sugar coat the truth AS WE SEE IT. Please realize that RB, I, always, and everyone on this board are just people like you, scared and feeling alone, reaching out for help.
In my 7 months here, I can honestly say that I have only felt attacked once or twice and that was from people who were new and were not in any way interested in helping me but rather here just for the fun of it. The rest of the 1000's of posts I have received from the people here, however harsh (and believe me, I have had my share) they were, were ALWAYS in an attempt to help me.
Emily, please, let us help you. Help yourself. Don't run from this. Even if you can only take 10% of what you are advised into your life, try it and see if you like what happens. You CAN do this, and I don't care what anyone else in your life thinks, even you. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!
