HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHAEL!!!! Hope today is much better for you!! I do understand where you are at with the sex issue. My H and I are older than you (I'm 54 and he's 57) and things had slowed down a bit even before our "unhappy period" and his A. But we were still having FUN a couple of times a week (according to what I have read that's a little above average). Anyway,even during the brief A it stayed the same. Then after the A it increased to 4 times a weeks!! Boy,was I ever loving that [Big Grin] !! Of course I had moments when he was too tired or feeing bad I would have one of my "paranoid episodes" and imagine that he was "thinking of her" or "he was making love to me so much because he was thinking of her"!! I know that was crazy thinking and I have gotten past that!! Then things slowed down a little more and we are at 2-3 times a week. At first bthis bothered me but I do know he has been under a LOT of stress at work (he'd been working nights for a couple of months and now he's back to days)and sometimes being mentally tired can be just as bad as being physically tired. I also do understand that as you age sometimes your "desire lessens". This does not mean he loves me less or he doesn't want me!! I am very fortunate in that my H loves to snuggle and cuddle!! When he is really really tired and we get into bed and he holds me very close and caresses my back and says "baby,you feel so good and I love holding you",it really doesn't matter if we make love...I just feel so happy,loved,cared for and appreciated!! It took some time but I have stopped thinking about the XOW when he's not "in the mood" to make love and I have stopped being paranoid about the "why he doesn't want to make love" and the frequency of our love making. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I am finally starting to really trust in him and his love for me. If your H continues to show you and tell you that the XOW isn't in the picture and he gives you njo real reason to doubt him,I am sure that the trust will start coming back and the doubts and fears will lessen. There is really no "trick" I can tell you to use to get yourself through this. Just continue telling yourself that your H loves you,he chose to be with you,he is reassuring you when you ask (and he may not really be happy with having to do that) and it is you that he comes home to and goes to bed with every night!! HANG IN THERE HON!!! I know it is hard and I understand about the doubts and fears but don't let them obcess you to the point where your R is harmed!! Have a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY and remember I am here for you!! PAT