Hearts Blessing-I can tell he still has inner tumoil. Yesterday was a very hard one. He Avoided me sexually although tried to make it look like he was not, We had to take our S. to the Dr. And he asked me What I was takning. I told him nothing tht I didn't aways take-He told me my speech was slurred, which it WAS not. It was how he said it-not concerned or anything,but accusatory. I let it go until we left the Dr.s office. I might add I talked a great deal to the Dr. and if my speech was slurred it would have been very apparent and our S. would have noticed. When we left he had to go somewhere to deliver something and then on his way home he called me and said he had to go to a jobsite to take them something they needed tp finish a job last night and asked if I wanted to go. I asked him if he wated me to go and he acted very indifferent and said It's up to you, I don't care. this hurt my feelings very bad so I opted not to go. Later I called him on his cell phone and asked tried to talk to him. He turned everything I said around to make it sound loke it was me who wsa causing the controversy. I tpld him he had hurt my felings and he did not say a word about that-no I'm sorry or anything. He was saying things like "its so hard to talk to you". Last week he had told me he was happy when I asked him and I asked him if he was. NOW, his answer was "sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not". I was very calm through all this and did not get mad-I was trying to avoid a fight. I finally said lets just stop doing this and forget it ever happened- just come home-I know he was where he said he was going because I could hear the guys in the background. He called me when he was on his way home and I said "I have candles lit."(means we want to be romantic) He just siad "oh, you do"? I told him Iloved him and then waited for him to get home. I have to tell you that it all seemed so strange, and that I was so afraid that he had been with the OW or had at least talked to her that day because of his actions..IT was like he was trying to pick a fight so he did not have to be with me. When he got home I made him some dinner and he had hurt his back lifting a door. He lay on the floor and did some back excercizes and I layed next to him and rubbed sports creme on his back. When we went to bed he wanted to lay on the heating pad, so I put it under him. I did somethings to try and pleasure him but he could or would not get into it. He said let me rest and then I'lll get up and take a shower and then we'll "play". He fell asleep and I left him alone.I was dying inside, iwas so sure he had been in contact with e "her". This morning he woke up and wished me a Happy Birthday(I'm 47 today) and I could tell he was trying to keep from getting intimate. He got up and went into the bathroom and took a shower. He came back outand I asked him to lie next to me for a minute-On thursdays he takes his employeees out to breakfast, so he leaves before 6. He did and held me and I asked him if he had been in contact with OW or had seen her. He said no. I asked him if he promised, and he said yes. I asked him if I could trust him and he said yes. Just short answers, nothing more. The last thing I asked him was if he WANTED to contact her and he said no. I just held him and told him I wanted us just to be happy again, better than before. He just stroked my head and looked into my eyes.He got up and got dressed, came over and kissed me goodbye-wished me HB again and told me he loved me. Tammy, he is a very sexual man. NOTHING used to keep him from wanting it. A sore back never would have stopped him before, He was just not interested, and that happens from time to time lately, It seems he does not want it nearly as much. When he first came home we made love almost every night, sometimes twice a day. What is happening? Why did he act that way? I was so upset I was shaking all over while he was gone, and had a panic attack,but I was composed by the time he got home. Is this normal or could he really be still talking to the OW and still lieing to me? It seems to me there is a pattern of this kind of behavior once a week on tuesdays or wednesdays, so that got my mind wondering if he talks or sees her on those days. He would not want to be with both of us on the same day. Is this all just me being paraniod,is it normal for them to act like this? SHould I really be concerned that he may still be involved witht he OW even though he promised he's not? I'm so confused and hurt and scared.I don't know what to do to know if he's being truthful. The sex thing really worries me-its just so out of character for him and I know he avoided sex while he was in the A. What should I do???? Please help me to understand all this. Rachael M.
