The OW called my H this morning at work. She wanted to know "what happened," and how he was doing. He told her the abreviated version of the story and that he was "doing as well as could be expected."

She proceeded to tell him that it was not in the cards for her to ever be happy and that God wanted obediance from them (OW and my H), and then she quote scripture. Boy, that pissed me off. What a hipocrite. I hate when people knowingly and willing commit sin and then when they get caught start quoting scripture [Mad]

Anyway, she said she had told her H about what had happened because she was afraid that I would tell him and she wanted it to come from her. How nice. Wish I would have gotten the same consideration. Her H was mad, but said he loved her.

My H said the conversation was very, very short -- couple of minutes. They were both apparently rather curt with each other. H told her there was to be absolutely no contact, phone calls or otherwise. He said neither one of them said they loved each other at the end of the conversation -- just good-bye.

I was glad my H was forthcoming with this info. I consider it a baby step to winning back my trust. I am very distrustful of this OW's motives for calling my H, however. After all, she told him 2 weeks ago that my finding out about them was a "sign from God," and that they should just leave things where they were. My H agreed. To him, that meant it was over. There was no reason for her to contact him again except to try and feel things out; test the waters, so to speak. I think she was hoping he'd tell her we were through and there was now a chance for a future with her.

I told my H about my theory and he replied that it didn't matter what she wanted or hoped for. As far as he is concerned, it's dead, and that's all that really matters. I told him that my concern was she'd continue to try and contact him occasionally just to "see how he's doing" and that could really mess up any progress we've made. He said if he picks up his phone again in the future and hears her voice, he will just hang up. I told him I didn't believe he could do that considering how much he hates to hurt peoples' feelings (except mine, of course). But, no, he said he knew that would be for the best and that is what he'd do if the occasion arises. Don't know if I believe him, but what choice do I have?

Oh, one other thing H told the OW was that there would never be any chance of a future together. He didn't want a future with her. He didn't want anything from her anymore.

Regarding his C'ing sessions, he said he was able to get an appt for this Monday night!! He was actually pleased. He wants to get started. We talked a little bit about depression. He's much more open now to the possiblity that he's been depressed for a long time. He was even looking for his old prescription of Wellbutrin to see if there was enough left to start taking now. That's how bad he's feeling.

Hearts Blessing,

I agree with you concerning my mom's request for a one-on-one with my H. I don't think he can take much more at this point. It would be hard to go dark on them. My step-dad has Alzheimer's and my mom needs us for support.

I think I will tell her that I want her to wait until after he's had some C'ing sessions; let him start letting off a little steam before he faces them.

Our best friends insisted we go to see them when we got home from vacation. That's been a tradition for 15 years. H was apprehensive -- he had talked with him, but not her before we left. He didn't want to face my best girlfriend. But he did, and what he found was that they still loved him and just wanted to help in any way they could. My GF and I have made a pact to not discuss this anymore as couples unless H wants to. We will just together and have fun like we've done in the past.

Dare I say that I think we are FINALLY on the road to recovery. I think I said that at some point in the past. I see now that it was just I that was on that road. H took a wrong turn somewhere, but has finally found his way. He's still quite a few miles behind me, though. I'm gonna stop at the next rest stop, have some of that coffee that Lily suggested, and wait for my H to catch up.

Yes, God does work in mysterious ways, doesn't he? I think I needed to start my journey and learn my lessons so that I'd be capable of handling the situation when the time was right. Apparently, I'd reached that point and God said, okay, Matilda's ready -- it's time for her hubby to start his journey. It still boggles my mind when I think about how this last turn of events came about. It also scares me to think what might have happened in the future if I had not listened to God when he told me that something was wrong and guided me to the truth. Friends, I have NEVER snooped like that before. I wasn't even sure I knew how to do it. I think things were escalating between them, and considering my H's emotional crisis, who knows what might have happened. Yes, I truely believe God stepped in and said, "Enough."

Thank you.

Pat,

Thanks, Hon. I know you've posted to me a few times recently. I'm sure you understand that I was just plain too tuckered out to reply directly. My PMA is rising again. I just hope I don't get slammed once more. We went through much of the same things back when the bomb dropped originally. He said and did all the right things; agreed wholeheartedly to MC'ing, etc.

What is different now is that he wants to go to C to get answers for himself (don't forget, H didn't put much stock in C'ing in the past -- probably cuz he knew it was a waste of time and money since he was still being dishonest); he's starting to see that he might be in depression; and the way he says ILY makes me actually able to believe it -- sometimes!!

Oh, by the way, no more of those pesky sex problems. [Big Grin] Things had been going pretty smoothly in that area for a little while just before this 2nd bomb was dropped; now, it's pretty darn terrific again. No problems whatsoever!!

Well, I've gotta take one day at a time. Today was a pretty good day.

Mattie