This BB is an excellent place for you to glean marriage saving advice. I think all of us that come here do so because we feel safe expressing our fears and reassured by the thought- filled advice proffered by those who "wear the same shoes".
I encourage you to post your story over on the Newcomers forum. There are veteran DB who come back to help newbies; one or more of them will see your unique thread title and help you along.
Michele's books are valuable tools. People will tell you upfront NOT to share these resources w your H. Use them as your strategy books.
Also, please check out the following web site. I am not a computer oriented person but I know you can reach it by typing into your search the following phrase
Marriagebuilders.com
That site is filled w info.
To begin. You extend the olive branch of friendship to your H.
You change your mindset. A mantra I have is "I'd rather be happy (married) than right (and divorced).
Keep your children safe from emotional harm. We were blindsided by our bomb and disclosed way to much to our children. Our C said that it is ok to tell your kids that you are having problems but do not disclose any details. To do so is a form of emotional rape.
It takes time to turn it around.
Why do you insist on having a job in the Carib?
My H never left our home during his full-blown MLC. I did months of solo db before seeing him slowing start turning his atitude around toward joining me in rebuilding our R. I have read other posts in which people write about how difficult it is to db when separated.
Two people who have threads on this Piecing Forum are in Canada.
Post to ANS and to TREESA---they are two of the people who gently led me to stability as I began to understand THE PROCESS.
