The thing that leapt off the page at me was that your H seeks (needs) to be reaffirmed that he is loved. I will venture to post that he doesn't really know what 'love' is (our C ventured that Sage doesn't know what it means to be happy or the meaning of love).
Hence your H sought this thing called love via a PA and then when that didn't work he reached into his past in response to a ghost fr the past.
You can point to your kids and tell your H that they are tangible proof of love. You can verbally affirm your love for him (without going near the bitter mind you) and you can show him fove through your actions. Real love will begat real love.
