Hi WIL-

Let me reiterate: what you're feeling and going through is perfectly normal-- sad one minute, excited the next... I would suggest you get a journal (or start one on your computer) and just urp out whatever feelings you have whenever you have them. Or post here and then cut and paste your posts into a journal. It will be very useful to go back and read these things a year or so from now.

Don't look too far ahead. Don't worry about dating or anything like that. Just keep your feet and your eyes on the path in front of you. This is a PROCESS not a destination.

Remember to be very kind to yourself and do something loving and caring for yourself EVERY SINGLE DAY. This is YOUR life and you are building it brick by brick, stitch by stitch, lego by lego. You have the luxury now of really considering how YOU feel about something and whether or not YOU want to do something.

Re your H's expressions of affection and comments about running off together, Sparkless suggested: "Have you spoken to him about how this behaviour confuses and upsets you?" I would suggest you NOT say one word to him about how you feel about these comments. You are supposed to be detaching from convos like that, not initiating them. Now would be a good time for you to adopt the strategy I have suggested from time to time to the men on this board, namely, respond to comments from the other party with a simple: "Oh?" if you must respond at all.

Do not get into it with him. Don't tell him not to talk about stuff that bothers you. Telling him that constitutes a response, and you should not be responding to stuff you don't like. It's like calling someone and telling them to stop calling you. The way to get them to stop calling you is NOT to pick up the phone when it's them-- EVER.

Go slow. Do things for yourself. Don't do one darned thing that you don't want to do unless it's for a very good reason involving some responsibility of yours to someone else. This time is for YOU. This is your special time to learn about you and to grow and just BE with yourself, sad, happy, confused, hopeful, lost, euphoric, bored... it's all YOU, baby. It's all good.