Matilda,

Don't do what I did and spew to your kids. Get those emotional boundaries up fast. Our C told us it was ok to say the parent's were having problems.

Watch how your kids manifest this news. Our Daughter was totally pissed; our Son became the quiet good child.

++++++++++++++++++

Matilda, with the long talk I guess you and your H were able to lay all the cards on the table.

How long had he been communicating w the H.S. friend?

Agape
Phileao
Eros

All kinds of love, Matilda. Can't have eros for a 30 year old memory. Doubt it was agape. Think Matilda.

Your H is not respecting boundaries. He may not have learned how to do this.

Do you ever read Hurting Badly's stuff? She goes by the name of Heart's Desire now. Her threads are located in the MLC forum.

Matilda, I am at a loss as to what to say.

I have to go at it from this perspective.

Before, when there was a PA you and the inner child had to deal w it.

Ok. Now, with a sorta EA , is the adult Matilda firmly in control?

If so, then you are where you're supposed to be in dealing with this SITUATION.

Your H has to deal w issues. You draw him forward by your growth; you send him back if you haven't made the changes that you need to make.

Sounds like this is a bump, not the end of the story.

You make your boundary re relationships w other women. He has to deal w his integrity and the growth of his understanding.

Oh, friend, I just want to encourage you to wait. Let this situation come into sharp focus.

If he's doing a MLC then he's doing a REPLAY. The things they do don't make any sense.

Please go read HB and ISE Guy for some perspectives on that , please!