No, we do not go to the same place on vacation every year. She would have no way of knowing H's vacation plans.
Yes, I do believe him. He has not has contact with her. He did not tell her where we'd be. This is absolutely the truth.
However, unfortunately, there is another OW in the picure -- apparently has been since before the other one was out of the picture.
I got up this morning feeling very much that something was not right. You all know I've been saying this for months. I am ashamed (but not very) to say that I broke into my H's office VM and there was a message for a woman saying how much she loved my H, how she missed him so much, how he filled a hole in her heart, blah, blah, blah.
The shit hit the fan, needless to say. Now, my boys and my parents know what an ass he is. People are devastated. It is an extremely ugly picture that is sure to get uglier as time goes on. I tried so hard to protect everyone from this. I failed.
The OW is someone H has known for 35 years -- a "family friend." She lives in Ohio, folks. He has not seen her in 30 years. He has only spoken to her on the phone and e-mails. Yet, he thinks he "LOVES" her. Yes, she is married. No, she has no kids.
All this time of going to the MC, telling me how devastated he was about what he's done, and wanting to make things work out between us was all a lie.
I, of course, called the OW (come on, guys, you know me!!). My kids were in the room along with my H when I called. Shocked the hell out of her. Told her a bunch of stuff. I can't bring myself to go through that right now. She, apparently, called my H's VM about an hour later -- now this was interesting -- said "Matilda and H (real names, of course), this is ..... I don't have your home # so I had to call this #. I need to talk to Phil." Why would she call H's office VM and address a message to the both of us?
Anyway, we've been trying to call her back all day -- no answer. Now, the line is busy (off the hook). Don't know what she has to say. But, I'll be listening cuz H agreed since the message was addressed to both of us that I could.
So, after all that I've gone through to try and keep this M together I find that in the end it was all for nothing. I begged him in the beginning to not put me through this again.
I'll not go into much more now. I drained. I'm in pain. We've been talking all day. We talked about some really deep hurts we've given each other and where it all stemmed from. At one point I said, "I can't believe the Matilda and H story is really over." He said, "It's not. It's not." But it is, guys. That was the last straw. I'm done.
He kept reaching for me during our talking; asking me to lay down next to him; wanting to rub my shoulders; just seemed to want to touch me anywhat he could.
Nothing to get excited about there. The answer to my question of "Is it love or is it guilt" is definately guilt. He was only doing those things because he was hurting me yet again.
My kids are devasated, but handling it much better than I'd imagined. I think they're in shock. Besides, for the immediate future nothing will change much. The boys didn't want their dad to leave, even though I'd asked him to leave many times this morning. H is sick, so asked if he could at least stay tonight. I said yes, and that he could take a couple of weeks if he needed to figure out what he was going to do. I didn't have the heart to make him leave when my boys asked if he could stay. They did tell me that it was my decision; that they completely understood if I made him go. They said it was all about me now, and they'd stand behind whatever decisions I made.
So, my friends. I guess it was not in the cards for this to be a success story. This is just too much.
My H is lost. He doesn't have a clue what he wants. What a miserable life he's destined to live.
