So many people don't understand what unconditional love is. Even if our S's do understand, they may choose to ignore it because it causes them too much guilt.
Unconditional love is truely a gift that not many people are not able to give, let alone receive. It has only been recently that I've been able to DECIDE to love my H unconditionally without any expectation of that love being returned. Of course, it's only been recently that my H told me he wasn't sure he loved me -- but I've had my suspicions all along that was what he was feeling. Probably because I've felt those same things myself in the past. I just chose to ride out those feelings instead of acting out with an A.
Also, in my heart I don't really believe that my H doesn't love me. I think he's struggling with a lot of negative feelings about himself. It's pretty hard to love someone else when you don't even like yourself. I know, because I've been there.
My H told me once that he felt I didn't love him for many years, but he stayed with me because of his love for me and our family. I can finally relate to what I must have put him through. So, if he was willing to live that way until I "came around", I think I can do the same for him.
I have a lot of faith in his love for me. Maybe I'm being unrealistic. Maybe I'm being naive. But I've trusted that he loves me for so many years that it's just hard to contemplate that he doesn't love me anymore. Besides, I feel he loves me. Perhaps that is more important in the long run.
