I am glad you agree because sometimes I feel like my views are a little cold. They are chilly but real. Once I found this feeling I quit being a doormat and became a realist. I could have stood on my head for my W and she would of just used me. I stood up for myself and quit being afraid of D and life improved dramatically. Doing things for yourself and finding strength and confidence make you more attractive. It certainly seemed bassakwards at first but now I am a believer. My only fear is that now what if I "outgrow" her and become the WAH. You and I have worked hard on ourselves but what have our SO done? In my eyes they now have some catching up to do. The difference is we have been there and know a little time and guidance will help them find their way just like we did.
I hope some more people on this board take the proactive steps for themselves. I guess what I mean by this is love and cherish your SO but don't live for their love. If they have come to this board they want to have a good M but it may not be with their current partner. I watched my BIL doormat his way right to D. My SIL told me that if he would have only shown some resolve and strength it would not have deteriorated to D. She lost respect for himand that was the end of it. He lived for her and lost her because of it. It certainly doesn't seem right but that seems to be how it works in today's world.
I couldn't agree more with your comment about getting happiness out of others knowing they are loved. I have felt this way for a long time and only recently understood it. Quick question. Shouldn't unreciprocated love be seen as unconditional and why in the heck can't our SO see that if we stayed around when we felt very unloved that they are getting unconditional love from us? My opinion, they are fools, that is why!
