True, there are opportunities for me to do 180s. But the 180s you prpose are more personaity changes than behavioral changes and so will be much more difficult. How does one become less serious? More humorous? These are not the behaviors we do 180s on. This is more who one is. Still I can work toward these changes as well.
But the ongoing denial of intimacy rips the guts right out of the very emotinal self that would feed such an effort.
I've been contemplating the Big D myself now for the past six weeks after having fought so hard to prevent it before.
The W is happy. Things are better. For her. All that has changed for me is that I know much more of what she is capable of doing. And none of that is helpful.
I need SOME fulfillment to be able to go on. A couple hugs, and one instance of love making over 15 days does not even register.
