Ouch, ouch, ouch. I'm leaving tomorrow for 3 weeks. We saw my therapist together. She encouraged my H to "lean into the relationship". I asked him after the session on Monday if we could spend some time hugging last night. He was having dinner with collegues got home late and stayed up late, late after i went to bed. He went to a conference today and at one time talked about coming home after his talk. He could have been here by 5p. He just called at 7p our time (he knows I like to eat by 6p) to "ask" if he could stay for dinner there. In the meantime we are buying a house and a mortgage specialist was going to try to come over to see us tonight before I leave tomorrow. I told him this but said he needed to make up his own mind about what to do. He siad in his bad little boy tone that he would come home. It takes 1 1/2 hours so our appointment will need to be around 9p. So much for any time together. His words and his actions just don't match but he acts so innocent, like he hasn't got a clue. This is a painful send off from someone who in the doctor's office said our goal was to stay better connected and to talk more often while I was away. ARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! If I say anything about this he will dive into the abyss of depression so I will ease up on him. I wish I were already gone. I don't know how to step contructively with this man. My Dr is encouraging "I statements" and to not rescue him when he goes for the depression. Right now I can't imagine how to formulate one. Any ideas?
