Quoting KAW: Not saying I will no longer be around. I will try put in my 2 cents where ever I hope it will help, just doesn't feel right posting a thread here anymore.
Your issues are NOT tright, and we may very well learn from them! AND, your 2 cents worth are, most often than not, worth A LOT more than that to those of us on the recieving end!
Steph P.S. Trying to control someone is bad...but I will do my best to keep you around here for a long time! I will cry, beg, plead, get angry, get resentfull, give you guilt trips, I WILL NOT LET GO, I WILL NOT DETACH. PLEASE, OH PLEASE, STAY...FOR THE CHILDREN'S SAKE, FOR MY SAKE, FOR OUR SAKE. (was that a bit over the top, in bad taste? I dont care! )
Kaw: Sometimes i think the same as you... That maybe my happy moments, my happy situation will hurt some of my friends here... but you know what...?... i dont want to give hopes knowing that maybe their story will not end with their h or W... but our changes... our 180 are not only relate to our H... there is a great growth process inside of all that we need to share...!!... and from happiness there is a lot we can learn too, although our situation is not as stable as yours...!!... So i will ask you continue your post... continue psoting your aproach, your progress... In muchell weiner books there is a chapter dedicate to that: maintaining the progress... the changes... the wil goals... So, i think is helpfull for everybody to know about that...!!
I had always thought myself a lucky man thoughout my adult life by having no regrets. In the year 2002, right from the beginning, that had all changed and even though the year has been the worst year of personal hell I have ever experienced, this Thankgiving holiday is truely the one in which I have the most to be thankful for. Although I don't consider myself gifted with the grace of the written word, I feel compelled to acknowledge the things I am so grateful for. So here it goes...
I'm thankful ...
... despite all that had happen to cause such personal pain for both myself and my wife, that we found the forgiveness within ourselves and to give to each other in order to leave the hurt in the past and move foreward together.
... for the lessons I needed to learn from this painful experience.
... for my wife's returned love for me and her desire to show me everyday.
... for the chance to express my love to her each and every day.
... for my renewed look on life and the chance to enjoy each day that comes from this day forward.
... for the oppurtunity every day to rebuild our M into something better than it ever was in the past.
... to share our dreams of the future together again and the chance to make them come true.
... for Michelle, her books and this BB. For it was her written words that allowed me to be so thankful today and the existance of this board to offer such great support in the effort to save my marriage when I had no other.
... for the people on this board who despite their own deep personal pain and grief are so gracious to give to others here the very thing they are here seeking for themselves.
... for the rebuiling of the nearly destroyed R with my 17 yr old D who moved out in anger at the first of the year.
... for the closer bonding and for the all the joy my 8 yr D brings me.
... for my 23 yr old step-D for leaving the nest ... again ...
... for some many other littler things just to numerous to mention.
I think perhaps this may be a start of a new tradition for me in order to reflect on the positives in my life and not to take them for granted ever again...
No matter where you are in life, I hope you all are be able to reflect upon all the positive things you have to be thankful for this holiday, and commence the day in celebration. I wish you all ... the happiness you all deserve.
Hey, KAW. My, you had a difficult road to hoe. Just wanted to stop by and thank you for coming by my thread. I've been reviewing the threads you have suggested and am inspired. I'm realizing more and more that DBing is simply a way to live life.
It's funny, so much of what I read from some of the more seasoned posters is simply about letting go, and releasing control. This is discussed in the Newcomers area, but possibly not as much as it should. It's interesting the levels of development relationships go through.
) 