I guess that's what scares me so much. It is calm now and I keep waiting fro the dam to burst and things tp gp dpwn hill again. I live in that fear. I have control over how I act and DO NOT react to him,but I don't have control over him. That's the scary part. If I am what he wats me to be and I do as he says he wants me to do then I should be ok. HE has told me his needs. Iam tryig to meet them. I don;t know if I'm doing as good as he would like,but he ahs not left again and tells me he loves me. My worry is that he is still having contact with the OW although he says he's not. I HAVE to get over that fear-it rules me. HE has said she is not what he wants. He is suppose to be writing her a letter telling her to not contact him anymore, and that he loves me. HE will put it off. HE hates doing stuff like that. I will let the C hold him responsible for that. He said in C he would do it. I think we need to discuss what the letter might say in C so when I read it and it is too soft I will not get upset and tell him he has to be firmer. He'll get dicouraged if I do that. No, I'll let the C handle it. My job is just to love and respect him and appreciate him. Its like Andy said though-their needs are a moving target.Its hard to be what they need youto be all the itme but man I try! I have to get it together so he can see the Rachael he fellin love with and he still loves. I have to be strong. I have to get it together, period. I pray I can do it. I have alot of inner strenghth that is buried under all this crap. I need to pull from that. Thanks to you all for helping me and listening to me obsess. Better here than at him! Rachael
