This will be quick since I'm heading out to pick up my car before running errands...
Sorry to hear that you're entering a phase which is most unpleasant. This was actually one of my many fears of reconciling, so I'm feeling for you.
Was wondering something, though. Something to mull around in your head before deciding it's a "bad" idea. A true 180... What would happen if you are the one to speak up and say, "I'm not happy, H, and these are the reasons why..."
I'm not advocating projecting, but to maybe state all the reasons why you're unsettled right now? You feel unsupported, pressure to create a career which fits his ideals rather than yours... you don't feel cameraderie with him lately... you're tired of feeling as though the family thermostat needs to be regulated by you to negate whatever he's feeling... etc.
I guess what I'm really enteraining here is the possibility of you throwing the gauntlet into the ring rather than waiting for H to do it and then figuring out how to recover?
Now I know what my biggest fear would be in doing something like this... that H would see this as pre-bomb behavior. But for me, pre-bomb behavior would have been for me to hold HIM accountable for my unhappiness, rather than to come right out and state how I feel.
Personally, I think you are just the person to pull this off.
This is one area where having a D is easier for me to navigate. If I have something that's presenting a problem with Mr. W., I don't have to worry about him divorcing me anymore. I just tell him what I don't like and see what we can do to change the future outcome and take it from there.
Have a great weekend!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I just tell him what I don't like and see what we can do to change the future outcome and take it from there.
Betsey 
