Quote: Quote: H would probably be thrilled to know where I am at with all this, but he doesn't ask and I don't tell.
Is there some way you can let him know a little about how interesting some of your networking has been? Not that you go into details which are still unclear in your own mind, but just that he knows you are seeing progress?
Not really - his mantra is that I should just go do temp work at his place of employment (the same place he says is sucking his soul!!!!) and that I'll never actually get a practice started anyway. If I bring it up in any way that's all I'll hear - and I don't need the negativity and discouragement right now. (BTW, I refuse to work at his place of employment because I refuse to work somewhere where I would be wondering who knew about H's affair, which happened there. He thinks he was circumspect but I know how nurses talk, I'm sure everyone knows. And I SURE wouldn't want to be working there if he bails again!).
I've decided that if he's going to insist that I return to work now (despite it being against my better judgment re: the kids) then I'm going to build the career I want, the career that had to take second place to family and his very consuming career.
Quote: Quote: His behavior is so eerily reminiscent that yes, I've wondered if he's having another affair. I don't think so, but can't rule out a crush or a fantasy about someone else. Certainly he's vulnerable again in this mood
If you don't have some kind of evidence (yes, your intuition can count as evidence, but mere suspicions don't), then why borrow trouble? He might have a fantasy of life alone on a mountaintop with no responsibilities to anyone else and could appear for all the world to be fantasizing a life with some OW.
I understand how difficult it can be with a spouse who cheated before, but the worry will grow if you feed it, no matter whether it's true or not. Don't let that kind of thinking mar your life.
I truly don't think I'm borrowing trouble this time. Rather the opposite - I tend to be so dense, so naively trusting that I never see it coming. And I know from prior experience that absolutely nothing can be accomplished in MC if he's carrying on a secret affair or infatuation on the side. I'm not ASSuming he is - but keeping my eyes and ears open. I will beware of feeding the monster, though.
Thanks Joe for the kick in the pants - I always know I can vent here and get good nonpartisan advice.
