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Its just so hard to beleve that he loves me. Why is that??


Rach,
That is exactly where I have been at right up to Mattie's visit here. Then it dawned on me...

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What brings them back? Changes we make in our behavior as we consciously attempt to improve ourselves. This may reminds them of the old us they were attracted to or even better perhaps as the "New & Improved" us. Once they believe that changes are for real, then it is not such a large step for them to decide they can love us again and commit to it again.

Now how can we believe their commitment to this decision is for real and we can trust them? As long as we continue to act in the manner that is true to ourselves and attracted them to make the decision to love us again, then they will never have any reason to doubt the commitment they made to that decision.


This allowed me to take solice in the belief, that the changes I have made of myself by applying the DB principles, have made me the person that has attracted her back and decided to be with me. And as long as I continue to be the "new Me" that she is attracted to ... then she will have reason to doubt her decision or need to change it.
Rachael, that is how I got to this point where I am now - past the not trusting.

If that doesn't work for you consider this ... Your S will be around for two more years. That gives you two more years to continue to work on yourself, to "DB" (like Andy has), to find more of what works and keep doing it. In two years, you are not going to be the Rachael you are now ... and far from the Rachael he had left. You have made a tremendous stide in just the last week. You have gone from obsessing here several times a day to now just once in several days! Don't obsess now about what will happen in two years. Take it day by day, and find ways to make today a better day than yesterday. If you do that, I expect that in two years you will have transversed into a butterfly right before Adrain's eyes, one that he will be truely attracted to and will be unyielding in his decision to be with you.

BTW, Rach, that is how time is in your favor.