Dear Ellie

Im am still on my travels and just popped in to check my email and a few regular sites that I visit. In fact, I am down with a viral infection that made my joints painful and without any strength. Just beginning to feel a little better.

Reading your recent posts rings so many alarm bells for me. Every time I was left by a boyfirend or my H, it was right after a trip of some kind. However much they "encourage" you to go away and do your thing, the bottom line seems to be that while you are away you are not paying attention to them, or else it gives them space to pursue their other "interests". Also, the "not understanding your medical issues" and rather than offering support, laying blame, is a no no between those who supposedly love each other. If those who are most close and intimate with you cannot offer support when you are down, who will?

I hope this doesn't come across as just a post to pull you down, but I feel certain amount of rage seeing you fine people strugging to keep your marriages and families together while the spouses seem to go their merry way, without considertion for all the hurt they are causing.

Should marriage be this hard? It pains me to read about Fizz's struggles and yours, and the many others here. Where has the basic trust and honesty in marriage gone? I wonder if having to work this hard to keep a marriage on track is really worth it in the end. I know in my heart of hearts that in my own case, I would never really have relaxed and trusted my H ever again, unless perhaps he had fully owned up to what he had done and taken responsibilty for it. Pushing it under the carpet or trying to get the partner to take on half or more of the blame, frankly, stinks. But some say, once a cheat, always a cheat.

Dear Ellie, I hope you get your health problems sorted out before long. Here's a tip for losing weight - first pick up a gastro problem, followed by mild 'flu, and then a little later, a viral infection. Worked for me!
I guess that's the silver lining!

Will end now and write more when I am back home.

Big hugs

Livnlearn

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates