*sigh* Well, Dr. Ellie, I think we need to do our best to create the ultimate tool for the delicate procedure of removing spouses' craniums from deep within their colons...
Hugs to you in the meantime. You know I think the world of you!!!
Your trip sounds like a whirlwind of activity, made me tired just reading about it. Then I thought, wait - I just had that kind of a trip last week!
Ok, now I'm done laughing about your H's morning, it's too bad he can't see the humor too. Maybe after he simmers down he'll laugh about it later. Creeped out? I used that term last week, and now here you are using it.
Quote: But there's that sickening undercurrent of "gee, this wasn't hard, why can't you do it this way?"
Your thoughts, not his. But take note, is it lots different? is he showing you how he would prefer it to be done? and if you asked him would he pitch in and help with those chores?
Quote: I'd been nagging her for a week!
Nagging never works. What's the consequences of D15 not cleaning her room when you ask?
Job search? for you?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Quote: But there's that sickening undercurrent of "gee, this wasn't hard, why can't you do it this way?"
Your thoughts, not his. But take note, is it lots different? is he showing you how he would prefer it to be done? and if you asked him would he pitch in and help with those chores?
Well, no, HIS thoughts on plenty of previous occasions, as he has made abundantly clear, although he didn't actually verbalize it this time - but I could tell.
I'm really quite reasonably tidy nowadays, just not as compulsively so as H, and while I strive to keep things up to his standard, I often don't have enough energy or hours in the day to keep it perfectly all the time. And the kids really do work differently for him, partly because they're accustomed to me making them do things so they don't "hear" me as well,(I'm not a push-over, really - H would say I'm too strict in some ways) and I think partly because they fear his wrath when he gets on a cleaning jag (he can get really anxious and wound up about it if he feels he's working harder than the kids around the house, and has been known to throw tantrums).
That being said - I know he likes the house super-tidy and I can do even better than I have been doing.
Quote: Job search? for you?
While I still feel that it would be better for the kids for me to be home this year (D's junior year, and really crunch time for her to pull up her grades for college - she semi-homeschools, too, so needs lots of direction - and S14's sophomore year, with his ADD/OCD/Tourette's problems still bringing down his grades) H is pretty insistent that I return to work. And frankly, I'm pretty uncomfortable anymore with being financially dependent on him, even though his salary would easily support us all if he wasn't spending so much on vacations and dream homes. In fact, if it wasn't so bad for the kids, I'd go back to work FULL time and then tell him HE could deal with homework and take off work for doctor and dentist visits!
I guess that's one of my hesitations - I know he THINKS he'll be happy when I return to work, but I know he won't really - he'll just be more angry that I'm not able to juggle everything.
Still, I won't be pushed into the wrong job. He'd like me to just start doing per diem work at his HMO, but I can't imagine it. He gripes all the time about the negatives there (so why would I want to work there) plus I just have this semi-irrational thing that I don't want to be "So-and-so's wife, you know, the one he cheated on?". He thinks he was so circumpsect that hardly anyone knows, but I know that kind of stuff travels like wildfire around there.
I'm planning for the long haul, not a temporary job - if I'm going to go back to work now, I'm going to find a position that I LOVE, and plan to work in it for a long while.
UGH! Well, as most of you know, thyroid disease runs rampant in my family. My sister just called, she had her D14 tested just as a precaution, and because of a few minor possible symptoms - and yep, sure enough, she has full-blown hypothyroidism. (My other niece was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism at 19).
Time to get S19 tested again. It seems to be hitting this generation much younger than it did myself and my siblings.
The title of your last post caught my attention. Can I pick your brain?
I had to have blood work done last week myself to check for hyPERthyroidism. Actually I had put it and many other things off for a year and half before I finally buckled down and let them do the bloodwork... Anyway, my question is what kind of information do you have? It's at the front of my mind tonight because I get the results tomorrow. Of course, I don't think there is anything wrong. An insanely fast heartrate doesn't necessarily mean this is the problem...and I am fine otherwise except for occasional palpitations. I am never and I mean NEVER sick. But it was recommended that I have it checked so I got the works as far as the blood work goes and all the other fun stuff happens when I get the physical tomorrow.
If you have any specific info on Hyperthyroidism, especially symptoms...because I don't think I have any...I would greatly appreciate it.
Well, I pretty much know the whole enchilada - was hyperthyroid myself for many years, then had radioactive iodine treatment and am now hypothyroid.
May be borrowing trouble to worry about this before your lab results are back, but the classic symptoms of hyperthyroidism are: - rapid heartrate (at one point right after diagnosis, my resting pulse was 120). - tremor (try holding your hands out straight before you - are your fingers shaking involuntarily?) - weight loss (never had this one, I'm afraid - but if you eat enough calories to keep up with your hypermetabolism, you won't see weight loss) - loose or more frequent BMs (never had this either) - feeling warm when others around you are not hot (kind of like a chronic low-grade hot flash . Have you recently lost your need for a sweater at night?) - "brain fog" - I had this a lot - couldn't concentrate, poor memory. - skin may be warm and moist, even sweaty or flushed - muscle wasting (I would lift weights and never get any results) - insomnia (I never had this much, but most do) - just feeling jittery or "caffeinated", like you drank too nuch coffee
Do you have a family history of thyroid disease? (Tends to run in families - although everybody in my family got it AFTER I did, so I had no family history at the time I was diagnosed).
IF - and it's a big IF - you have hyperthyroidism, treatment options include anti-thyroid drugs, or radioactive iodine to kill off part of the thyroid, or surgery to remove part of the thyroid. There are pros and cons to all methods - don't let yourself be rushed into deciding (although beta-blockers to slow a rapid heartrate will be used right away in most cases, and will calm some of the symptoms although it doesn't alter the course of the disease).
May be borrowing trouble to worry about this before your lab results are back, but the classic symptoms of hyperthyroidism are:
- rapid heartrate (at one point right after diagnosis, my resting pulse was 120). Mine was just about that high. That was after an episode of palps which I have had randomly for several years. I have learned how to manage them though, for instance, if I catch it just before if gets going and I cough really hard a couple times, I can stop it.
- tremor (try holding your hands out straight before you - are your fingers shaking involuntarily?)
No tremors
- weight loss (never had this one, I'm afraid - but if you eat enough calories to keep up with your hypermetabolism, you won't see weight loss) My weight is steady.
- loose or more frequent BMs (never had this either)
Nothing unusual
- feeling warm when others around you are not hot (kind of like a chronic low-grade hot flash . Have you recently lost your need for a sweater at night?) I am ALWAYS HOT. I will turn on the A/C in February if I have to blowdry my hair! It has gotten worse.
- "brain fog" - I had this a lot - couldn't concentrate, poor memory. No.
- skin may be warm and moist, even sweaty or flushed
Yes
- muscle wasting (I would lift weights and never get any results)
Not that I would know. I have never HAD to excercise although I SHOULD.
- insomnia (I never had this much, but most do)
No
- just feeling jittery or "caffeinated", like you drank too nuch coffee Ummm...I STAY caffeinated so I wouldn't really notice .
Editing to add that we have no history of thyroid disease in my family, either.
Quote: That was after an episode of palps which I have had randomly for several years. I have learned how to manage them though, for instance, if I catch it just before if gets going and I cough really hard a couple times, I can stop it.
Amy - this kinda sounds like PAT - paroxysmal atrial tachycardia - a benign kind of arrhthymia that can be stopped by a cough, a Valsalva maneuver (think bearing down to have a BM) or by sticking your face in ice water. May or may not be related to thyroid - plenty of people without thyroid disease have this (and the tachycardia of true hyperthyroidism is constant) but hyperthyroidism does make the heart muscle "irritable" and more prone to arrhythmias, especially atrial arryhthmias. (Caffeine is not good for this either.)
I'm so sorry your H is getting freaky again. I'm sure you know you should trust yourself here, and that sucks. Not that it need be an A or anything -- but something is up with him, he's not feeling good about himself, so he's becoming hypercritical of you. Yuck. Double Yuck.
One of the most valuable life lessons I learned DBing was that people become critical of others (especially those close to them) when they are unhappy with themselves. It is good you recognize that -- it keeps you from buying into his ideas about you. But, it is frustrating, because men (lol) seem to be so good at externalizing their own stuff and putting it onto others that it is hard for them to recognize what is going on. Again, Yuck.
It is great to see you keeping your confidence and your head, lol. Good luck with the job search. But, I agree that you working won't fix the problem -- and then it will just find something else to pick at. So, don't let him push you if it isn't what you think is best right now for you and your family (including him, lol).
I hope I hear from you soon that he's decided to take antidepressants.
All is well here. Newtimer has grown and matured amazingly since I last wrote you. I can't believe how many changes there are in 7 weeks. She's still sleeping through the night though :-)
.