Quote: But there's that sickening undercurrent of "gee, this wasn't hard, why can't you do it this way?"
Your thoughts, not his. But take note, is it lots different? is he showing you how he would prefer it to be done? and if you asked him would he pitch in and help with those chores?
Well, no, HIS thoughts on plenty of previous occasions, as he has made abundantly clear, although he didn't actually verbalize it this time - but I could tell.
I'm really quite reasonably tidy nowadays, just not as compulsively so as H, and while I strive to keep things up to his standard, I often don't have enough energy or hours in the day to keep it perfectly all the time. And the kids really do work differently for him, partly because they're accustomed to me making them do things so they don't "hear" me as well,(I'm not a push-over, really - H would say I'm too strict in some ways) and I think partly because they fear his wrath when he gets on a cleaning jag (he can get really anxious and wound up about it if he feels he's working harder than the kids around the house, and has been known to throw tantrums).
That being said - I know he likes the house super-tidy and I can do even better than I have been doing.
Quote: Job search? for you?
While I still feel that it would be better for the kids for me to be home this year (D's junior year, and really crunch time for her to pull up her grades for college - she semi-homeschools, too, so needs lots of direction - and S14's sophomore year, with his ADD/OCD/Tourette's problems still bringing down his grades) H is pretty insistent that I return to work. And frankly, I'm pretty uncomfortable anymore with being financially dependent on him, even though his salary would easily support us all if he wasn't spending so much on vacations and dream homes. In fact, if it wasn't so bad for the kids, I'd go back to work FULL time and then tell him HE could deal with homework and take off work for doctor and dentist visits!
I guess that's one of my hesitations - I know he THINKS he'll be happy when I return to work, but I know he won't really - he'll just be more angry that I'm not able to juggle everything.
Still, I won't be pushed into the wrong job. He'd like me to just start doing per diem work at his HMO, but I can't imagine it. He gripes all the time about the negatives there (so why would I want to work there) plus I just have this semi-irrational thing that I don't want to be "So-and-so's wife, you know, the one he cheated on?". He thinks he was so circumpsect that hardly anyone knows, but I know that kind of stuff travels like wildfire around there.
I'm planning for the long haul, not a temporary job - if I'm going to go back to work now, I'm going to find a position that I LOVE, and plan to work in it for a long while.
