I've tried talking to H - when he's in a good mood - about his depressive symptoms at other times. It's generally not productive - either he's forgotten the incident and thinks I'm making it up, or he feel threatened by me even mentioning it. And usually then he turns it around in some way so that I'M responsible for his feelings (as in, he's not depressed, he's just mad I've regained some weight, not gotten a job, been sick with my thyroid problems).
It's frustrating -does he think I WANTED to regain the weight, that I WANT to be too weak to exercise vigorously, that I WANTED to be financially dependent on him when I've been independent my whole life before I, and then my D, got sick? But since he doesn't believe my medical problems are what they are, he chooses to see only the lack of results rather than how hard I have been trying to overcome them. (Can you imagine how frustrating it is to eat a 1500 calorie diet, stick to it faithfully, do killer step-aerobics workouts 4-5 times a week for a month, not lose an OUNCE - and then have your H treat you as if you are a lazy person who is voluntarily choosing to be 25 lbs. overweight??????? UGH!)
Okay - so I KNOW this is mostly about his depression, but since I have no control over that, and I DO have control over what I do, I will keep focusing on getting well, getting to where I can work, and continue looking for the key to weight loss for me.
