Hi all - I'm here but just haven't been posting much on my own thread. Getting ready to take S19 back to school in a week - will get to see some fellow DBers in the Bay area when I do, including Survival Goddess and GBO.
Had a lovely lunch today with Dust in the Wind (MLC forum) who, it turns out, lives within walking distance of me! She's fab, as are the other Dbers I've met.
Glad to know you are still around. You have brightened my day on more than one occasion . Lord knows, we can all use a little humor to help us through.
Spitfire
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
Even better, I get to meet Survival Goddess next weekend and see GBo again when I take my S19 back to school.
Meanwhile - bummer thought for the day:
H's affair was 4 years ago, but preceded by about 2 years of H's depression/dissatisfaction/taking me to MC to get me "fixed", etc. Dunno why I never really made much of a connection before, but DUH - H is 46 - turned 40 about half a year before all this started. Not that I wasn't aware that MLC was part of the equation, but here's my bummer thought:
What happens in 4 more years? H turns FIFTY! And truthfully, I don't think some of the basic MLC stuff has ever really been dealt with - his fear of death and aging, his feelings of "missing out", of working harder than others and resenting others who have more than him (even though we have a LOT!).
I know, I know - I shouldn't borrow trouble (how many times have I said that to y'all? ) - but geez, I will NOT be looking forward to 2010!!!! Can't we invent a MLC cure in the next four years?
After all your helpful posts, I hope I can help you. Look for the book The Midlife Passage by James Hollis. it talks about going through midlife and coming out better and more prepared for the rest of your life. he says that the people that work through their issues aren't as afraid of death as those that do. it's fairly heavy reading with a lot of Jungian psychology yet it keeps your interest. I've had a few friends read it and all have gotten something out of it. In fact I want to read it again. This time specifically for ME.
Quote: his fear of death and aging, his feelings of "missing out", of working harder than others and resenting others who have more than him (even though we have a LOT!).
That definitely sounds like issues that should be worked through. I think you're in a good position to start working on those issues now before the full blown MLC starts in.
By the way I'm working during the week in the Sacramento area. My schedule probably won't mesh with the rest of the DB'ers but I thought I would join up with ya'll if I could.
Take care, Fearless
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
Hey Fearless - I've seen that book discussed here before. Are you suggesting my H read it, or me? (H would be offended at the MLC word, which he of course would deny).
I'm spending the night at SG's on Saturday (she has a party to attend and we will go with) and with GBO in the city on Sunday - GBO wanted to have any get-together close to her house because of baby-sitting issues. You're welcome to join us if SF isn't too far for you to come on Sunday?
I haven't read your whole sitch, but reading the latest posts I realized there are some DBer's in the SF Bay area. Does anybody know a good MC around here (I live on the peninsula)?
I dunno but I will ask GBO - I know she went to someone with her H (although her M wasn't saved, H was having the affair the entire time he was in counselling - but on the bright side, she has a really nice new boyfriend ). Check back with me tomorrow.
. Lord knows, we can all use a little humor to help us through.
) - but geez, I will NOT be looking forward to 2010!!!! Can't we invent a MLC cure in the next four years?