In my inital post, I breifly mention my oldest D (now 17 yrs) had moved out of the house in Jan. with bad blood between us and because of the bomb my W dropped in Feb., I chose to put R with D on the back burner to work on M. As part of DBing in May, I decide to make first contact with D to try to make things right again. Over the summer, my W joined in and sloooowwwweee we have been piecing the R with our D. Up to now, we have been initiating contact to see her. Last Monday evening, Tarah (D) called and said she wanted to take us out to dinner on Wednesday to celebrate my Bday (was last Sunday).

Well the forces of evil in the universe threw everything they had at us last night. First after picking up D, we headed to one of our favored resturants. We ended up waiting an hour for our dinners. When they arrived, my oldest D's dinner was cold, my W's was over done, my youngest D only received one chicking strip as a portion. To make me feel guilty, mine turned out fine Despite our efforts to keep our youngest calm during the wait, but by the time dinner was served, she upset herself enough that she couldn't eat. Have way through dinner she had to run to the restroom. My W had to follow her in and couldn't finish her dinner. Upon the manager declining to speak to us, we left without paying.
On the way to take oldest D "home", I stopped at a gas station (the little gas light was on). All the lights were on, the cash register was open, but no one was around to reset the gas pumps. Really freaky!! This was the final straw that trigger on of my W's panic attacks and she insisted I take her straight home! When we got home my W told me to take Tarah home. When I asked if she would be alright while I was gone, she nuzzle up to me and started crying. Tarah called a friend to pick her up. Before she left, she said we will have to attempt to go out to dinner again soon.

When my W & I went to bed, she just snuggle into my arms and said, "I just love you sooo muuuuch" So what is the first thing that popped into my head ... "just 4 months ago, you insisted that you loved my but was NOT in love with me and now the pendulum swings the other way...how can that be!!" But with the amount of insecurity we both been feeling lately, I decided I needed to do a 180 here, and I just replied, "I know" and let the last words be of her stating her love...before she fell asleep. Sheeesh, I REALLY don't like it when these thoughts just pop into my head ... just when do we truly start to believe them again?

'til later,
KAW