I definitely want to work on myself. The hardest part right now is he believes he loves her and his mind is completely elsewhere. I can improve myself but don't know how to see him every evening knowing he still has the same thoughts of her, not loving me....... The issues before the OW were enough to deal with. Now it is compounded by the complete lack of trust, the deceit, lies, ... He says he "can't leave me, it has to work, he's trying to do the right thing." Yet, he continues with the same negative thoughts. I just don't know if anything can change if he tells himself the same things everyday and night. I wonder if it would be best for him to be out of the house. Until he can open his heart and head just a little there is no hope. I'm concerned things will just exist like it is. I also know he could end up just missing her more and move on without us. DR doesn't really say anything about if it is better to survive the day to day working on myself or if separation can be more beneficial in this situation. It also didn't really address the "I am in love with her but know I can't be." Or I just don't get it. I am so torn as to what to do. I don't know if I can live like this. I have been for months and just now found out he wasn't trying to get clarity about us during his 3 months away but was having the EA. UGH!!!!
