Patience seems to be the key here, but what a weight on our shoulders. Sometimes I feel like I really need to shake things up, but am not sure things would go the way I want them to.
I know I need to do some more 180s, but I also know that these 180s have to be for me as much as for getting his attention - probably even more so. This is where I get stuck and don't know what to do. I've changed my hair and clothing, taken a few courses and tried a few different activities for exercise. I try to keep up my appearances, but I haven't been able to lose weight - a huge issue for my H. The new things I have tried have not been things that have remained a draw for me. I even took pole dancing for several months, but my H didn't even bat an eye. I enjoyed it for a while, but then it became boring.
I have gone back to doing more things for my H such as his ironing. Because he is away most of the time (he works in another city) he does his own washing, etc at our apartment but I had the opportunity to do these things because he was travelling to another city and staying in a hotel. That was a 180 for me. He kind of went from surprise that I wanted to do it to expecting me to do it. It has been the same for most things and makes me feel a bit like I am being used to make his life easier.
180s seem to be very important to making them stop and look-and hopefully think. Any ideas would be appreciated. I am going with the kids to see him on Wednesday for 10 days. I plan on cleaning the apartment while I am there and doing some grocery shopping for him. He eats out alot, so I am planning on making meals and asking him to come home for lunch while we are there. His work is within walking distance so we can either meet him or he can come to us.
Don't you wish there was one thing that you could do that would make a huge difference? I think I have focused too much on that and maybe it is a case of many, many little things. One thing I noticed was that instead of trying to get him alone or do things just the two of us, I planned things such as the movies or drives that included the kids. He seems to relax more as there is no pressure to talk or anything else. But at the same time, it gives us time together.
Sometimes I feel like I've done everything I can and then I come and read on these boards and find other things I can do. It keeps me going and moving forward.
