You know what, he may be a master manipulator. I think cheating on your wife, you almost have to be. In any case, I KNOW he is a good person at heart. He might feel great sexually with the OW but he probably doesn't feel too good about himself as far as his wife and kids are concerned.
I really can empathize with him. He THINKS that he loves this girl although he cannot fathom giving up all that he has for her.
Jokerman, I have to admit that I used your words on him. I said, "she has NOTHING to lose by going after a married man with three small kids, you on the other hand have EVERYTHING to lose, including your kids." I am starting to think that these are the words that actually hit home for him.
If he as to "see" her a few more times to end it, I totally understand. He is a sweet and caring person. That is one of the qualities that attracted me to him in the first place.
How long I can be this wonderful, compassionate and caring person, only time will tell. In the meantime, remind me now and again why I am doing this, will ya?
****Jokerman, I have to admit that I used your words on him. I said, "she has NOTHING to lose by going after a married man with three small kids, you on the other hand have EVERYTHING to lose, including your kids." I am starting to think that these are the words that actually hit home for him.
Well if he is still in his cloud of his affair, it won't work. If he is clearing up it will.
****remind me now and again why I am doing this, will ya?
Because you love him. Because you love your marriage. Because you love your kids. Because you are STONGBEAR.
Hi MamaBear, I am really pleased to see the serenity you are experiencing, in the resolve to stand for your M one more day. Your H is lucky to have you, your kids are lucky to have you. But more than anything, you are lucky to have you. You are loving your life, loving yourself, appreciating what does work, seeing the glass half full. I am happy to read what I am reading on your thread, mama. I think it gives us all hope. I know sometimes (other times) it has been hard to be patient. Especially when H is in your face with a blatant disagreeable act. In reading your thread, however, I am reading over time how it is getting easier and easier for you to get back to that patient compassionate place. I have seen such growth for you in these months, mama. I am so proud of you, and hopeful for you. I think patience is the hardest part for me. It seems so obvious (what I know about what works and what doesn't work), and yet your H, my H, so many of the WAS don't see it. But, until we can see things from their shoes, there can be no coming together. Why wait for them to see things our way? That just creates more polarity. I think you get this work so well mama. Thanks for being a love leader. I am rooting for you.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
