treeas, andy, thanks! i always get what i need when i ask for help here. andy i think you helped me out a few times when i was posting on newcomers a while ago. we are in counciling, h suggested it in his desire to come back. he put me through 4 monthes of h&**. but i found the books and this sight right away and saw this as the ultimate challenge of my life. i think i am lucky in that things turned around quickly and so many others are still trying. it is weird, like he woke up all of a sudden. but he walked out all of a sudden too. didn't even know we were in trouble. i am thinking of starting a thread here as i still need support on this journey in recovery of my marriage. i feel like giving up sometimes because i fear the pain of getting left again, but i want the joy of a good marriage. i deserve it! lisa
