Good, he's thinking, lots of thinking. Don't pounce on him with questions for additional insight or analysis if he talks...just let him talk. I really have to watch myself for this. When I talked to H the other night, I was quiet and left lots of pauses, normally where I would have jabbered.
Hey, if you do wnat my number, I'm HAPPY to give it to you and you can call at anytime. Give me an email and I will do that for you. Or, is there another way to privately chat with people on the board where I can give you my #?
Don't feel bad...I like hopping on others threads...it helps me make sense of my sitch, helps me be a little bit more understanding (when I ask YOU to do the same)...these boards are about interacting....
I'm in MLC forum....wondering where your input was for the last week or so! Come read...some big stuff happened last week....basically I think H is hitting rock bottom, he called and sounded so depressed.
Ok, I really took everyone's words to heart. H should normally be home between 3:30 and 4:00. Well he wasn't and he didn't call either. I was like, oh great you really took my talk to heart. Then he calls around 6:15 apologizing that his phone is low on batteries, he had to work late, sorry he didn't call sooner, would be home in 15 minutes. We talked awhile about stuff that happened over the weekend.
(Last night there was a serious accident at the entrance to our subdivision. Cops were chasing a Uhaul with supposed stolen goods inside. They ran a red light and struck a car. Three 16 year old boys were inside, one that we know of lives on our street. The passenger, died. The driver is in critical conditon) We started talking about our children and how much they mean to us and how we need to know where the 2 older ones are at all times. Ther was also an accident in our town earlier in the day where a mom and dad and their 4 year old son were out walking and a car jumped the curb and hit them killing the 4 year old. Man, what a slap in the face.
Anyway...when H came home I was SO nice and it was authentic. I wasn't faking it. I actually hate when he comes home at 3:30, that is just too early for me. I am still cleaning or doing whatever it is that I do.
We hung out, talked and watched TV together. I really and truely love this man SO much. I may be weak and insecure but this is what I must do.
That's all I can say...no advice....Hang in there Stongbear.
No wait....I'm a bit pissed. You are a strong person. I'm not trying to patronize...Damn this makes me mad. Your H has a STRONG loving wife at home.
OK OK I will cool down now......Strongbear, regardless of what happens you are a better person and a better mom because of this. If your H is lucky he will see you will be a better wife (not that you were bad before)
Don't worry if he comes home a 3:30, usually us guy types like to gel for a while to recharge ourselves after a hard day at work. You know to try and figure out the problems that will be facing us the next day.
"Our life is what our thoughts make it."
Marcus Aurelius
I was browsing another website, rejoiceministries.org and copied this, it says it all for me:
Quote: I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up 'til my marriage is healed.
Journaling: I feel a lot of attention is given to the negatives but I need to also focus on the positives too.
Yesterday afternoon I took kids to the bookstore, I picked up a book by Harville Hendrix called Getting The Love YOu Want. Didn't have time to read much though as when we pulled into the drivway at 2:30 - H was already home.
He was in a really good mood. I gave him the book that I bought for him on Muscle Cars, he really liked it. He asked what our plans were for the rest of the day. I said we really didn't have any so we could do anything. He said he would like to lay down for a little while then if it would be ok if he went rollerblading. I said absolutely, do what you need to do.
When he got back we took the kids bowling again, something we all really enjoy and then out for pizza.
This morning I got up with him at 4:00 to make his lunch since I forgot to last night. He really appreciated it and pulled me to him and gave me a really long, tight hug.
So there, nothing bad to report....today.....
I will keep up my PMA, come hell or high water as I am not ready to give up yet.
Will also let you know my thoughts on the book when I can.
