Strongbear ****Preface I am NO marriage counselor. If you are looking for someone to give that to you...you are looking at the wrong guy.
I am not a fan of divorce, but I am a fan of happiness. I really does blow me away how spouses can stay with H even when the affair is ongoing. Hell my W will leave me in a heartbeat even though I ended mine.
I do agree with GH about the mental masterbation.
I also think the cheating H WILL come to his point of clarity. Luckily for me it happened quick. It may take years. But they will get there. TRUST ME.
The bottom line is are you a loving wife working on the marriage or an enabler?
Yes marriage is a sacred thing that is worth fighting for but on the other hand, should you be a doormat too.
It sounds to me that you are on the crux.
I do think you husband is under the stress of an affair. He does not have the major stress of hiding it - maybe to a degree but not like most.
It sounds like he is on the verge too.
Keep in mind though. If he comes back because of guilt, or because of the kids, you will be in the same place a few years from now if not months.
He needs to come back because of the marriage and YOU. NOTHING else.
Damn I wish I could talk with him. I don't know what does and does not turn that switch on, but I know it will turn....even if it is too late.
So I guess I was not too much help. I think you may want to defer to others on this board on advice what to do. If he does or does not do something and you want my 2 cents, I will give it to you.
If I knew what to do to keep marriages together I would be upstairs making love to my wife instead of staying on the couch.
