Frank, Thank you so much for stopping by my thread. I have heard that you are an excellent DB'er and I know that GH and many others have much admiration for you.
Quote: You can stay neutral and let it play itself out. Focus on where YOUR life is going to go. I know it's easy for me to say, and not so easy for you to do. You will though. It's who you are.
Frank, this is EXACTLY what I have been trying to do. And yes, it is mighty hard at times.
Saturday kids and I had another garage sale, my neighbor was off so he hung out and helped me. When H called on his way home, stopped for a beer, again, I stated I wanted to pick him up a six pack for helping me. I know it was very passive/aggressive. H got mad and called me a bitch for trying to make him feel quilty and hung up. I called him right back and he somewhat calmed down and said he would stop and pick it up as he knows it is hard to have a garage sale on my own. I said, what is up with you? Do you want to work on our relationship or not? He said "why, cause I got mad at you?" then realized I was talking about the bigger picture. He said, things are good between us and that he would like us to be happy too. I left it at that. Proceeded to have a good rest of the day. Sunday, Monday and Tuesday all were good, but uneventful in the R department.
I know I can't control what H does when he is away from home, so I am going to remain in neutral and go with the flow as far a he and I are concerned. I will continue to do great things for myself and have fun with my kids and friends.
Quote: He has lower self esteem. If he had higher self esteem he'd just TELL you how he got the sunburn. And he wouldn't need OW to help him feel good about himself.
This is key. This is something H has to deal with all on his own, in his cave, without help or advice from me (unless he asks for it).
