We all do what we have to do, and I think early on it's primarily fear/anger/pain that motivates most of us. It's how we deal with those things that makes the difference in each sitch, and I don't think one way is necessarily better, or more a symbol of strength than the other.
Folks that leave do so usually because that's what it takes for them to get through the hour, day, weeks following the bombs. THEN they find the strength to address their situation more head on but still maintain that distance. Sometimes that continues to work, sometimes it does not in terms of allowing reconciliation to happen. Whatever the case, I can only imagine that it takes enormous strength and faith to live away from your family and continue this process.
In the case of myself (and mama to a certain extent I think) we chose to stay and ride it out. For me, I freely admit it was because I was afraid to leave, or "make" her leave. Soon though, I realized that I was going to have to summon everything I had to do this with the A right there in front of me. When I realized that, I once again made the CHOICE to stay. I have regretted it sometimes and not others. Again, it takes inner strength to do this no matter how or where you do it.
Mama, I am so grateful to be reading your posts these days. You sound SO good and I am so proud of you. You are a shining example of what happens when one TRULY decides to detach and understand that while we can still CARE what they say and do, we DON'T have to be ruled by it.
