The one thing to remember, Kaw, is that "what works" is a moving target. It doesn't matter what "stage" of DBing you're at, something that worked yesterday may not work today.
Having said that, you posted that you're doing more things that show you care and appreciate her (helping around the house - laundry, dishes, etc...)
I don't think that these things will ever do you wrong.
The communications issue is a bit tricky, though.
There's some interesting stuff over on my thread about this. Give it a look:
It also includes Zebra's stuff about feeling safe (I copied it over to my thread)
The general consensus is that we should not give DR to our spouses. However, if you feel comfortable doing so, then I suspect that you feel she's open to it.
Often, offering DR to a spouse is viewed as pressure to "put some effort" into your R. If your W doesn't feel pressure, then it might not be a bad thing. It might even show her that your motivations for working on your R aren't completely selfish.
